Tips to Finding Love, again….

 

I found love again later in life, after 2 marriages and the sudden death of my fiancé….inItaly.  I wasn’t looking for love. I went there to recover and rejuvenate alone, even though I didn’t speak the language or know anyone. There I saw the world through new eyes of wonder and joy. In my old life, I was always rushing and there was no time for “chance encounter.”  I was relaxed and open the day I went to a winery as tourist and met Giuseppe, hand third generation wine maker and fell in love.  Now I live in Tuscanyand have a life much more full and wonderful than I ever dreamed. My world really opened up for me when I stopped trying to control everything and just said yes.  Yes to swimming in chilly, but crystal clear water to snorkel and see awesome sea life, yes to riding on the back of a Vespa through the winding hills of Chianti catching amazing views of the vineyards and yes to making love with the lights on even though he is 13 years younger than me!

 

Here are my tips for finding love later in life:

 

Be light, carefree, relaxed and approachable

 

Talk to everyone- Start a conversation, give a compliment or ask a question.  Do you like being a florist? I always thought it would be a great job.

 

Hang out at a coffee shop or other high traffic place ALONE.  It is much more intimidating for someone to walk up to a table of 2 or 3 than a person sitting alone.

 

Change your surroundings and routine – go to different places where “nice people” hang out. Golf course restaurants or high end steak houses are a great place to meet men.

 

Eat at the bar alone- Go at high traffic time and sit next to someone that looks interesting.  You will always have the bartender to talk too! Men usually do this more than women. If it’s hard for you, just order something that will arrive quickly.  You can always say you were supposed to meet some, but they just cancelled.

 

Do what you enjoy- you will be surrounded by those with your same interests like cycling clubs, marathon training groups, bowling teams, gardening clubs or other civic organizations.

 

Turn off the TV and be in public – Mr or Ms right is not going to knock on your door and ask to plop down on the couch with you.

 

Don’t Box yourself in to a certain type of person-   It’s all about energy level and compatibilities, not age, income or parenting skill.  Think more about activities and having fun than commitment and the future.

 

How to Say “IT”- I am single at the moment, but open to finding someone new.  Don’t go into divorce, death or other gloom and doom stories. I am single at the moment is enough information.

 

Tell others you are looking.  People are natural helpers and they may know someone perfect for you.

 

Get a business card if you don’t have one.  Your name, phone and email. The printers have tons of ways to personalize them.  Give it to someone you meet and say, Call me if you would like to get a coffee sometime, then walk away gracefully.  No one is put on the spot. And when they call you, say, I am so glad to hear from you, even if you can’t remember them right away!

 

Meet someone for coffee.  It’s simple and short if they end up being a dud.  Practice on everyone, using your “interviewing skills.”  Have some probing questions to get them talking about their interests.  My favorite one are: what do you do for fun, where did you go on your last vacation or what’s on your bucket list?

 

Don’t worry about weirdos or stalkers.  99 % of the world is wonderful people just like you.  With email and cell phones, it’s easy to block someone from contacting you.

 

 

 

 

 

2 Responses to Tips to Finding Love, again….

  1. Barbara Ery says:

    I just finished reading your book and have I put it on our book club list for July 2012. I loved it and was so inspired. I tired to get the Orlando Public Library to order it, sorry.
    I will follow your blog and continue to be inspired.
    Keep writing, dreaming, and doing.

    • Barbara says:

      Thank You for your kind words. I would be delighted to Skype in from Italy to your book club for a lively discussion. Also, if you are dreaming of living abroad, there is a free “How To” booklet download from the Facebook page for my book Living Without Reservations.

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