The Difference Between a Dream and a Goal



A dream is wish or want that you have in the back of your mind that says “would be nice” if it happened.  You may dream about owning a beach house or owning a little bakery or coffee shop. You think about it from time to time or imagine it will be yours “after” you live the life you currently have.  Perhaps you are waiting for children to grow up or a little more financial security.


A goal is also a dream but with a very different attitude about how it is going to come into existence.  A goal has a map, time line, and an action plan.  Without putting it on paper, with details or steps of action, nothing happens.  It’s like saying you want to drive to California, and just get in the car and start driving without knowing where to turn or when you will arrive. 


Unfortunately, we can’t have it both ways.  We can’t have the security (true or imagined) of our current life and live another life at the same time.  One door closes and another opens.  You can’t live in Kansas and be near your friends and family, with your “safety net” job/relationship/home/community AND live at the beach in a relaxed and carefree environment.  You must show the Universe that you are serious about your new life and start taking steps to move in that direction.  ASK for divine intervention. BELIEVE that you deserve the happiness you seek and RECEIVE opportunities that come to you by being aware and taking action.


Often one door closes before we are “ready.”  Deep down we are asking for change, but want it to come in a specific way,  Losing a job/partner/house/money/good health are all ways that change is forced on us. These are all wake-up calls.  We are on this earth to grow, evolve, experience, not just to get by. We are here to experience joy, laughter, wonder and newness.  Mediocrity and repetitiveness are the death of our spirit. 


Stop “Dreaming” and Starting Taking Action.  You don’t have to have everything planned out but you must start moving.  Opportunities will come and you will be able to say YES. It works the opposite of what we think.  Don’t wait for everything to be in place because it never will be. Life changes day by day, so keep it light and stay focused on the outcome, not on the details.


And don’t forget the secret weapon that comes with “putting it out there.”  The Universe! The Universe wants you to succeed.  It wants to put people, places and events into action to help you achieve your goals.  But the Universe only knows what you know.  If you are not clear and active, It doesn’t know how to help you!  Watching all the magical moments that are created by the Universe is the most fun game in the world.  None of it is my luck or happenstance.  You and Universe have co-created all your good fortune.  Go and live life to the fullest.  Take a chance. Believe!  Then sit back and watch the magic.



Tips to Finding Love, again….


I found love again later in life, after 2 marriages and the sudden death of my fiancé….inItaly.  I wasn’t looking for love. I went there to recover and rejuvenate alone, even though I didn’t speak the language or know anyone. There I saw the world through new eyes of wonder and joy. In my old life, I was always rushing and there was no time for “chance encounter.”  I was relaxed and open the day I went to a winery as tourist and met Giuseppe, hand third generation wine maker and fell in love.  Now I live in Tuscanyand have a life much more full and wonderful than I ever dreamed. My world really opened up for me when I stopped trying to control everything and just said yes.  Yes to swimming in chilly, but crystal clear water to snorkel and see awesome sea life, yes to riding on the back of a Vespa through the winding hills of Chianti catching amazing views of the vineyards and yes to making love with the lights on even though he is 13 years younger than me!


Here are my tips for finding love later in life:


Be light, carefree, relaxed and approachable


Talk to everyone- Start a conversation, give a compliment or ask a question.  Do you like being a florist? I always thought it would be a great job.


Hang out at a coffee shop or other high traffic place ALONE.  It is much more intimidating for someone to walk up to a table of 2 or 3 than a person sitting alone.


Change your surroundings and routine – go to different places where “nice people” hang out. Golf course restaurants or high end steak houses are a great place to meet men.


Eat at the bar alone- Go at high traffic time and sit next to someone that looks interesting.  You will always have the bartender to talk too! Men usually do this more than women. If it’s hard for you, just order something that will arrive quickly.  You can always say you were supposed to meet some, but they just cancelled.


Do what you enjoy- you will be surrounded by those with your same interests like cycling clubs, marathon training groups, bowling teams, gardening clubs or other civic organizations.


Turn off the TV and be in public – Mr or Ms right is not going to knock on your door and ask to plop down on the couch with you.


Don’t Box yourself in to a certain type of person-   It’s all about energy level and compatibilities, not age, income or parenting skill.  Think more about activities and having fun than commitment and the future.


How to Say “IT”- I am single at the moment, but open to finding someone new.  Don’t go into divorce, death or other gloom and doom stories. I am single at the moment is enough information.


Tell others you are looking.  People are natural helpers and they may know someone perfect for you.


Get a business card if you don’t have one.  Your name, phone and email. The printers have tons of ways to personalize them.  Give it to someone you meet and say, Call me if you would like to get a coffee sometime, then walk away gracefully.  No one is put on the spot. And when they call you, say, I am so glad to hear from you, even if you can’t remember them right away!


Meet someone for coffee.  It’s simple and short if they end up being a dud.  Practice on everyone, using your “interviewing skills.”  Have some probing questions to get them talking about their interests.  My favorite one are: what do you do for fun, where did you go on your last vacation or what’s on your bucket list?


Don’t worry about weirdos or stalkers.  99 % of the world is wonderful people just like you.  With email and cell phones, it’s easy to block someone from contacting you.






Get Happy Today !


Happiness is a choice !



It can be learned and here are some ideas to help you get a jump start on getting out of a rut and seeing the world in a different place.  It is far too easy to pop a pill and feel better, but what happens when that pill doesn’t work anymore? Physical and emotional health are combined.



I’d rather look at the causes and find real solutions.  We, humans, were not meant to live in the industrial, fast paced world that we have created.  Poor countries actually are happier than industrialized ones (aside from basic needs of course). We have far more cases of depression than other developed countries.  But what happens when enough is never enough and too much becomes less?  Everyone is talking about simplify, but what does that mean in terms of creating happiness?



Here are some ideas starting with basics:


1. Eat foods that are alive, green and colorful, including lots of veggies, fruits and grains.  Give your body the best possible fuel.  Limit white flour, white rice, white potatoes, milk and meat. Industrial foods are filled with chemicals that are toxic and hard to digest. Eat lots of fresh herbs and garlic. Take Omega 3 Fish oil.  Poor diet creates insomnia, low self esteem, poor concentration and feelings of hopelessness.


2. Sleep well. Limit caffeine and alcohol.  Stop eating 3 hours before bedtime and don’t fall asleep with the TV on.  Prepare a bedtime ritual.  A nice hot soak in the tub, gentle reading, great sheets, and spray a soothing fragrance.  Go to bed at the same time each night and rise at the same time.


3. Spend time in nature everyday without a phone or IPod. Direct sunlight gives us vitamins D&E. Engage all of your senses. Take your lunch break outside or in a sun drenched place. Open the car windows.  Bring fresh flowers to your desk or bedside.


4. Turn off the TV or wean off to only selected or educational shows.  Turn on your favorite music. Music naturally makes you feel better!  I love Pandora and am transported to a different country every time!  I love “French Café” and “Sutra Rhythms.”  TV is a downer and lowers your vibration, especially news and other’s drama.  Noise has huge effect on our feelings of well being.  Become aware of your environment. Choose joy and uplifting.


5. Give a Hug.  Get a massage.  We are a touch deprived culture.  Consider getting a massage on a regular basis.  Ask for a lower rate if come in on a regular basis.  Steaming, sauna and acupuncture are incorporated in many European lifestyles. These are not luxuries but necessities!


6. We are social creatures and need interaction.  Not on the phone or computer, get direct eye contact.  Isolation creates depression.  Stop by at a little shop you have been meaning to visit and strike up a conversation.  You will learn something new and maybe even make a new friend.  Smile at everyone.  We could all use a little happiness.  Do a random act of kindness.


7. Try gardening.  There are actually bacteria in the dirt that make us feel good!  Plus you are lovingly caring for something outside yourself and breathing all that wonderful “new” air. 


8.  Get a pet or love on someone else’s.  Animals give endless love and never talk back.  They appreciate a stroke and are soft and cuddly.


9. BREATH.  There are many videos to teach you long deep breathing.  Yoga is a great way to incorporate breathing, flexibility and gentle body movements.   This can easily been done at home.


10.  Use mantras, visualization and mediations to “teach” yourself to think positively.  Your self-talk is your best friend or worst enemy.  The good news it, you control it!  I put sticky notes on mirrors and my computer to help me remember my dreams and my power.  I have a vision board or poster filled with pictures and words that help me keep my “dream life” in focus. I am not a good mediator, but I do lye flat on the floor and focus on my breath and appreciating and loving each part of my body starting from my feet to my head.   I repeat mantras when I run or power walk outside.


Resolution Idea 2012- #10



Resolve to Downsize, Reduce Debt Fast and Gain Time !



Go to the dry cleaners every 2 or 3 months rather than 2 or 3 times a month


Wait until you have worn just about everything in your closet then go through what is left and decide if you really want to keep it.  Sort the pieces you are taking to the cleaners and decide if you really love them and want to keep them before you pay to clean them. Then find a bargain cleaner even if they are not just around the corner. Ask the owner for a volume discount.


Same with laundry, do it every 2 or 4 weeks. That will force you to wear everything in your drawers and will free you from constantly doing laundry. You will be surprised how much stuff you have that you really never wear because you don’t like it or it does fit.  It is far better to have a few pieces that make you feel good when you wear them, than piles of clothing you never wear. Donate it before it become out of fashion and no one wants it.  There are many who have far less than you and your kindness will brighten their day!


Think of this:  If you have 30 pairs of shoes, that means you will wear each pair just 12 times per year.  If you wear the same shoe more often, another pair will NEVER leave your closet!  Stop spending time, energy and money managing your stuff.  Go light and lean so you can focus on the fun things in life.


Resolution Idea 2012 – #9


Go Green – Go Automatic – Go Mobile 


Get all your bills and statements on line.  Get no paper mail. Saves time, stamps, and paper.  Everything you need to know about your finances are available on line.  No more filing, sorting mail or managing piles of papers.  Scan anything you need to save for taxes.  One small disk vs boxes of files.  It is important to have a system that works.  The less time you spend thinking about paying bills, the more time you will have to think about persuing other areas of your life.


Set up any regular monthly bill to be paid automatically.  You will never have to remember to pay, never get another late fee and have instant proof of payment.


Since I don’t get mail, it is easy to move to fun and exciting places and I don’t have the hassle of trying to keep track of my mail.  I do have a PO Box as a permanent address.