Building Your Life Around a Vision vs Circumstance

Are you living your life around a vision of how you want things to turn out? Or are you letting the tides of circumstances take you where they will? Just remember what Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome.” If you are allowing circumstance and happenstance to dictate your next moves, you might want to start the envisioning process by honoring your younger self. Thinking back to the dreams or visions you had in your earlier years, of what your life was going to look like. Is this what your life looks like now?


As years go by, life-changing events happen and our lives are shaped to some extent by the scrapes, cuts and detours life throws at us, and over which we may have little control. Nonetheless, each day, we have the choice to either live life or “let life live us.” For myself, I do sometimes feel like a pinball in an arcade game, bouncing off one obstacle another with all the bells and whistles going off. We can’t always stop “life’s events” but we can choose how we react to them. At the least, when things get really scary, we can not let the events consume us until peace can be restored again.


Whoever said, “You made your bed, now lay in it” should be bound and gagged. Of course we have the right to change our minds along the way. And yes, we must live with the consequences of our actions, but any rut you get into, you can get out of. Imagine you are going down the river. You might have chosen to use the rudder to guide your way or you might have decided to just drift for a while. But let’s say you get washed into a little side tributary until it dead-ends. Here is a moment to consider: would you sit there in the stagnant water and wait (perhaps forever) for the tide to turn, or do you turn around and paddle your way back to the main stream? That’s what I am asking you to do, right now: pick up your paddle and get back in the main stream of the life you truly want, and really can be living.


When you hold the vision of your dream lifestyle in your mind, you will subconsciously make changes to move in that direction and the universal laws of attraction will support you. Here is one small example: let’s say you strive for a more peaceful, calming home life. Get in action and set the stage when you first come home. Use your five senses. Set the lighting- soothing or cheerful, choose the music- upbeat or classical, light fragrant candles, pop some cool grapes in your mouth or start simmering some soup, then put out a bowl of colorful fruit. De-clutter to prevent distractions that consume attention and dilutes your focus. Create the vision, don’t let circumstances take over.


I find that limiting the media I let into my world helps me to stay positive. Choose a TV show that serves you with knowledge or appreciation rather than numbing your mind. Similarly with magazines, newspapers and books. Choose reading materials that allow you to learn something which brings you closer to your vision. Spend “down time” outside in nature, just observing, breathing and envisioning your perfect new life.


I am saying we, you and I, need NOT be productive all the time. I am suggesting you practice energy vs mere time management. Know yourself. If you are especially productive in the morning, make this your time to create. Choose to do mindless activities, such as responding to email, cleaning or shopping, later in the day. Break up the day. Build in “me time” to do nothing but appreciate all the good in your life, walk around the block for 15 minutes or sit on the porch and enjoy a refreshing drink. Choose wisely. Awareness of what you want is the first step; inspired action is the second.

7 Responses to Building Your Life Around a Vision vs Circumstance

  1. CHARITY says:

    Thanks Barbra this has made me happy

  2. Sharon says:

    What an awesome site! Thank-you so much. I actually came across this by accident and it totally tuned me into what I’m lacking and giving me hope! I’m forty-nine, recently out of relationship, lost my job, lost my dad and my oldest son recently admitted himself into rehab. Endless list of storms indeed! Reading this has inspired me to move on, take care of me and build up my self esteem once again. I especially like the fact you’re an athlete. I’m a marathon runner myself and running has kept me above water with everything else going on. Again, what a refreshing website site.


  3. Mary says:

    It is pure pleasure to read your blog. As I am at yet another crossroad on my life’s journey, your insights will help me to focus on what is important for me to be the best I can be. When we are whole we can contribute to what we need to with positive energy. I am currently working on learning a story to tell that I had the pleasure of hearing from another storyteller, about a woman who needs to focus on herself. I will be telling it this weekend at a women’s retreat and your blog reinforces what we need to do. Thank you…

  4. Barbara says:

    I just read your story on Yahoo and it instantly caught my eye. My husband now also is a work aholic, his name also is Gary and I am so bored. I mean bored to tears. I have a little girl which he has taken in as his and he told me I don’t have to work but that not plan isn’t going great. Over the course of a year my life has turned upside down! I lost everything but my child(I was close to that too) and he came along like a hero. It’s just tough depending on someone if you never have done so before. I believe that’s the source of a lot of problems. I just read your blog and it is so inspirational. There is little factoids mentioned that I try to live by but have lost sight with over the course of this marriage. I’m not sure what the future holds but I need to keep sight of what matters.

    • Barbara says:

      Happiness is an inside job. You have been given a great opportunity and freedom to choose again. The best way to feel better instantly and appreciate the new gift of time you have been given is to help someone else. Find another mother who needs your help. Do WHAT YOU LOVE! If you love children, or cooking or teaching or learning…go get involved. You don’t need to be a princess stuck in the tower. Get out and find people to help by using the talents you naturally have. It’s a WIN-WIN!

  5. You could definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

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