I used the law of attraction to bring the right people, places and circumstances into my life while I was on a midlife reinvention journey.  After a divorce, sudden death of my fiancé and only child going off to college, I changed everything about my life and took enormous leaps of faith, but knew that I was attracting all the right people and trusted that I would be taken care of.

For example:

I needed to get out of town and asked to borrow my dad’s camper to go out West on a road trip alone to spend time in nature.  He said no, but I will go with you if we go to Alaska. Three days later, we took off together for 6 weeks. It was his dream to drive to Alaska.

Next, I was working at a marina bar in South Florida and met Captain Pete.  He was looking for crew to go Island hopping in the Caribbean his 42 foot sailboat.  I didn’t know Pete or how to sail but went anyway and had the time of my life for the next 100 days. He could have been a weirdo or bad captain, but he wasn’t.  He was just a good man looking for a good first mate.

Then, I rented a room in the home of a woman in Tuscany that I found the Internet, wired her some money and jumped on a plane, even though I didn’t know anyone or speak the language.  She ended up being an empty nest mom like me and we came fast friends.  She did speak English of course. I felt completely comfortable in her home.

Each time I made a move, I kept saying, I am in the right place at the right time…all good things are coming to me now.  I felt totally guided and safe with a wonderful “knowing” that I was on the right path.   I got goose bumps when I found the ad for “Room To Rent” in Tuscany. How wonderful to go on the road trip with my dad rather than alone.  I still listen to The Secret regularly on my I pod, carry a portable vision board and have sticky notes with my favorite sayings.  I focus on my goals daily, but with gratitude and thankfulness. I live a very different lifestyle now and know that all my “good fortune” is powered by the Universe.

I think of it like this:

If I had a treadmill that made electricity, I could run really fast and make electricity to power a lamp, a fan and radio or I could just plug them into the wall socket.  I can create my own life through hard work or I can just plug into the Universe and use the great infinite power.

From Eric:

You have been on an amazing journey. Love that you’ve put it into a book. The fact that it weaves through (or ‘ends’) in Italy is fantastic. My Mom is Italian, and my sister lives in Milan, married with children.

You had some Powerful events that led you to a strong sense of – “Make the most of your time and life.” But…for most people, Barbara, what do you think is the impetus to really roll up our sleeves and challenge ourselves in all ways, on all levels?

What is it that gets us to go for the most authentic, powerful, joyful, abundant expression of ourselves that we can?

Would love to hear your thoughts if you feel so inclined to answer…

Hi Eric,

Thanks for writing such a great letter.

I think we all start our lives with a certain expectation of how it is going to be and when that wears off, we evaluate things differently. Life experiences can either stop us dead in our tracks or it can motivate us to move forward. Near death experiences tend to “instantly” change a person. Dr. Phil says there are “pivotal” moments in everyone’s life that push us into different directions. Of course, you can just wake up one day and say “No more!”

Once you decide to want a certain thing, close off all other distractions or time wasters and focus daily on your goal. Take action every day to move toward it. The more actions in one day the faster you get there. All actions are either going toward or away from you goal. There is no neutral. If today, I decided not to take action, I am actually moving away from my goal because the earth/world is constantly moving and by doing nothing, you are naturally moving away.

We are each born with a natural talent. A skill that we love doing and makes us feel alive and happy to start each day. We feel like contributing productive members of society. To find out what it is, ask yourself this simple question. “If money were no object, how would I choose to spend my day?” At first you may say I want today on the beach and basks in the sun all day on a tropical island, which would be fun for a few weeks, but then gets a little boring. Think more along the lines of create, teach, build, sew, write, draw, help, paint, live, etc. We all want to feel that we are needed, appreciated, and contributing.

I am a natural motivator, salesman, and teacher. I wanted to travel and live in Tuscany. Never did I dream that I would meet Giuseppe and be able to help him promote his family winery and get to travel while using my natural talents.

When you are “basking in your glory”, whatever that is, people, places and events are naturally attracted to you. When you give your best with passion, others automatically want to be a part of what you are doing. Do what you love and radiate joy, then everything else falls into place. Energy attracts energy.

~Barbara Elaine Singer

Life Coach

My dream was always to live in Florence, Italy.  At 44- years old, I went from corporate executive, wife, and mother living in the suburbs in Orlandowaiting to-retire mode to single, empty nester, living on a winery in Tuscany with a handsome winemaker.  My motivation came from tragedy.  I was married, met someone new, got divorced to be with this new man and one month after my only child went off to college out-of-state, he died of a sudden heart attack leaving me alone and devastated. I saw first hand how quickly a life can be over and it lit a fire under my chair to get out there and live everyday like it was my last.  It gave me the courage to quit my job which no longer excited me, liquidate and rent my home. With very little money and no real plan, I took off…

After spending a soul-searching year traveling to Alaska in a camper for six weeks with my 70-year-old dad, waiting tables at a marina bar in South Florida where I met Captain Pete and island hopped the Caribbean on his 42 foot Hunter sailboat for 100 days as paid crew, I rented a room in the home of a woman I found on the internet in Tuscany. Even though I didn’t speak the language or know anyone, I followed my intuition. I just knew there was something waiting for me there.

Ten days after I arrived inItaly, I went to a winery as a tourist and met Giuseppe, a handsome third generation wine maker. It was love at first site.  Fortunately, he was single, spoke English with an intoxicating heavy accent and had just starting to promote his wines to theUS. I used my American Marketing and Sales skills to help develop and open up whole new areas of sales.  The following year, I moved into his family home in the hills of Chianti with his parents who don’t speak English, at the winery and helped with the English speaking tourists. Now, 5 years later, we spend our time between theUSandTuscanypromoting his wines, my book and our story.

Each morning when I open the shutters and look out over the vineyards and the valley below, I pinch myself.  I still can’t believe how lucky I am. Florenceis just 40 minutes away by train. The key was letting go and following my heart and not “the traditional rule book” society has taught us. Now, I am passionate about helping others take the leap of faith and start living the life of their dreams.

Lessons learned:

* Don’t over plan. Wing it!  

*Let go of control. Leave remove for serendipity and luck. Don’t over plan.  Wing it!

*Follow, don’t lead. Stay open and eager to see what comes next. It may not come in the package you thought.

*Start where you are. No matter what a mess you have made, your life can totally turn around with one big YES.

*Think outside the box. In order for me to live abroad, I cut all my expenses to nearly nothing which meant liquidating my home and renting just a room from another person.  I am happily “homeless”, have just two suitcases and three monthly bills (health insurance, cell phone and small storage unit) but freedom to go where I choose.

*Don’t let other’s opinions distort yours. They have their own agenda.

*Proximity is power.  Surround yourself with people, places and events that lead to your goal.

*You don’t need to plan out the rest of your life, just take it in three to six month periods and seize opportunities as they come to you.